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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY PLAN

If you leave the relationship, or are thinking of leaving, it could be helpful, if at all possible, to make a plan beforehand.  Knowing what your options are and what help is available in your community can make the decision easier on you and your children.

Suggestions for increasing safety while in the relationship:

• I will have important phone numbers available for myself and my children.
• I can tell _________________________ and _____________________________ about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my home.
• If I leave home, I can call Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse about the shelter or go to _____________________________ or _______________________________.
• I can leave extra money, car keys, clothes, and copies of documents with __________________________ or _____________________________.
• If I leave, I will bring: ______________________________________________________. (see checklist)
• To ensure safety and independence I can: keep change for phone calls with me, open my own bank account, rehearse my escape route with a support person, and review my safety plan.

Suggestions for increasing safety when the relationship is over: 

• I can: change the locks, install a peep-hole, outside lighting, smoke detectors, security alarm, window locks or dowel.
• I will inform ___________________________ and _________________________ that my partner no longer lives with me and ask them to call the police if s/he is observed near my home or children.
• I will tell the people who take care of my children the names of those who have permission to pick them up.  The people who have permission are: ______________________________________.
• I can tell __________________________ at work about my situation and ask ______________________ and ______________________ to screen my calls.
• I can avoid stores, banks and _____________________________________ that I have used when living with my partner.
• I can obtain a protective order with the help of Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse.
• I can keep a copy of my protective order on me and in my car.  I can leave a copy with my childcare provider(s)/children's school(s) ________________________________ and ______________________________.
• If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can call an advocate at Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse 24 hours a day, or I can call ___________________________ or ________________________________.
• I can join a support group at Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse or _____________________________.
• If I am stalked, harassed, or further abused I can call law enforcement/police at 911 for an immediate response.
• I can call Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse 24 hours a day about possible safe, temporary, confidential shelter for myself and my children.

Important Phone Numbers:

• Law Enforcement/Police:    911
• Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse 24 hour Hotline and Shelter:  (208) 883-4357 or (509) 332-4357, collect calls accepted
• Friends/Family:___________________________________________________________
• Pastor:__________________________________________________________________

Items to Take CHECKLIST:

• Identification
• Birth certificates for myself and my children
• Social security cards for myself and my children
• School and medical records
• Money, bank cards, credit cards
• Keys - house, car, office
• Driver's License and car registration and insurance
• Medications
• Change of clothes
• Passport(s), Green Card(s), work permit(s)
• Divorce papers
• Lease/rental agreement or house deed
• Mortgage payment book
• Insurance papers (medical, other)
• Address/phone book
• Children's favorite toys/blankets
• Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value

GOING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM OR HOSPITAL

Take good care of yourself, you deserve it.  Ask the hospital to make a record of your injuries, even if you don't feel safe telling them how you were hurt.  The records could help you later, if you decide to get an order of protection or make a report to law enforcement.

If you feel safe, tell the hospital staff exactly what happened to you and how you were hurt.

If the abuser is with you, try to be alone with the hospital staff.

You might want to take a friend, or ask for an advocate from Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse to be with you for support.

GETTING SUPPORT AND COUNSELING

Having an abusive partner can be scary and confusing for the whole family.  If your closest friends and family do not know how you really feel, or do not understand why you are still in the relationship, it may be hard to ask for help.  However, sharing your story with an advocate, counselor or others who have been in your situation may begin to connect you with other people who can ease your loneliness.  You will get understanding, support and information.  For places to call that can help you and your children, see the resource list.

Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse provides free confidential services, without discrimination, to women, men, and children who have been affected by domestic violence.  This can include advocacy-based counseling with trained individuals who support survivors in an individual, family or group setting; information and referral services; and 24-hour crisis intervention from ATVP staff and volunteers.

Support groups are available for victims and survivors, as well as non-offending parents, to share like experiences and offer support to one another in a safe, confidential setting.  Goals include education, empowerment, self-esteem building, problem solving, reduction of anxiety and stress resulting from victimization, and safety issues.  Child advocacy is provided.

For information on any of the services Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse can provide, please contact us.

"I remember looking at him and thinking, he's right - no one will believe me, he was respected and well liked.  I was nobody - who would help me?  Maybe I did deserve it."

~ a battered woman, Whitman County, WA

GOING TO SHELTER

On the Palouse there is a secure, confidential shelter available for you and your children, provided by Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse.  There is no charge to stay at the shelter, which provides temporary housing, food, personal care items and emergency clothing.  Advocates are available to help you with your transition to independent living through assistance with housing relocation, children's schooling, applications for benefits, goal setting, and emotional support.  Also on-site are child advocates that can help your children cope with their new surroundings and their difficult situation.

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