TEENS AND DATING VIOLENCE
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Dating violence doesn't just happen to adults. It happens to teens, too. It is more common for young women to be victims of dating violence, but young men can also be trapped in violent relationships. Many people don't even realize that they are in an abusive relationship.
28% of teens are in violent relationships.
It's important to remember that all relationships have their ups and downs. But healthy, respectful relationships don't stay hurtful. It is important to recognize how often you feel disappointed, hurt, frightened, sad or angry in your relationships. Dating violence is not the same as getting mad or upset or getting in a fight. It's about using violence, threats or emotions to maintain power and control over the partner. Dating violence is a pattern of actual or threatened behavior that emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually hurts another person.
There are several different kinds of dating violence. The important thing to remember is that the purpose of abuse is to establish power and control over another person and the relationship. Usually before a relationship escalates to physical violence, it has already been emotionally, verbally or sexually abusive.
The easiest form of dating violence to recognize is physical violence and can include any or all of the following signs:
"The first time it happened, I was about fourteen and my boyfriend was sixteen. He saw me hug my brother in the hall at school, but he didn't know it was my brother because we'd just started dating. He dragged me out of school, behind a store and just beat me up--literally. He said if anyone asked me what happened, to tell them I got into a fight with someone; not to dare tell anyone he hit me."
--Anonymous, 17Emotional violence is harder to name or even recognize, because it can be disguised as kindness or caring. Emotional abuse is also very subtle, but is extremely manipulative and makes the victim feel responsible for problems in the relationship. Jealousy and possessiveness are a form of emotional abuse, as well as these other indicators:
Sexual violence is also a factor in many violent dating relationships. Like other forms of abuse, it occurs on a continuum of verbal, emotional and physical assaults and refers to any forced or unwanted sexual activity or rape. Examples include: